Continued from last week’s blog

I went back home in a daze. Who or what was this man Jesus who had just saved my life and had stirred me so deeply. I just hung around the house for a couple of days trying to let everything sink in and make some sense of it. Gradually reality began to set in again and I realized that nothing had really changed. I still had no husband, brothers or father to take care of me and I only had one thing that I knew how to do but the one who saved me told me to not do that any more. My food was running out and I don’t own this house. You can guess how I paid the rent. What in the world did he want me to do?

I have one friend. His name is Gamael and he is a priest. He never once tried to take advantage of me. He really does just want to be friends. He knew that I was a prostitute and didn’t care. He just likes me to visit him and we would talk. I love him like a grandfather. So I went to Gamael and told him the whole story. I didn’t expect his reaction either. He smiled and I thought for a second his face was glowing. I almost shouted, “Gamael, what is going on. Why did Jesus laugh? Why did I feel so loved? Who is he anyway and how did he know my name?

“Miriam, are you familiar with the book of Isaiah? Let me recite a portion of it for you.

ISA 42:1 “Here is my servant, whom I uphold,
my chosen one in whom I delight;
I will put my Spirit on him
and he will bring justice to the nations.

ISA 42:2 He will not shout or cry out,
or raise his voice in the streets.

ISA 42:3 A bruised reed he will not break,
and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out.
In faithfulness he will bring forth justice;

ISA 42:4 he will not falter or be discouraged
till he establishes justice on earth.

That is a prophesy about the Messiah. Does it sound like your new
friend? I have been watching this Jesus for several years and I am convinced that you met the Messiah. What a blessed woman you are!”

“I don’t know what to say, Gamael. If you are right and you could very well be right because I certainly have never met anyone like him, then, I am more conflicted than ever. Tell me why did he tell me not to sin? I can’t eat; pay the rent or even cloth myself without sinning. I have been thinking about this constantly since that day and if the truth were known I can hardly breathe without breaking the law in some way. I would do anything for him but he asks me to do the one thing I simply can’t do. Why did he do that to me? I feel so ungrateful and so powerless to change it. Gamael, what am I supposed to do?”

“Miriam, my poor child, let’s think about this a minute. Let’s start with the assumption that he is the Messiah. He did claim to be the Son of God the other day and he knew who you were even your name. Now, he said two things to you. First, “Neither do I condemn you.” Child you have been forgiven by the Son of God. The one who, in another place in Isaiah, is described as ‘taking away the sins of the world’. Miriam, can you get a hold of that. Your sins have been forgiven, period, end of story.”

“Gamael, let’s say that all you say is right. Here is my point. My sins are forgiven until I sin again. I could believe that my sins are forgiven if he had not said go and sin no more. What that means to me is they were forgiven until the desire to strangle that young Pharisee returns. Then, I am back where I started from, not to mention entertaining a man for profit again. Do you see what I mean? ‘Go and sin no more.’ It is so clear and final.”

“Ok, you asked why he said that to you. If he is the Son of God and if he is so gentle that he will not break a bruised reed, then, the reason had to be to cause you to do exactly what you are doing. In other words he wanted you to struggle over why he said that to you.”

“Well, he succeeded.”

“Of course he did and he even had a little chuckle about it didn’t he? Miriam, here is what this old man thinks happened to you. You met the Messiah; he accepted you completely as you are. He forgave you, that is, he took your sins away and he wanted you to realize what had really happened. You are free. You are forgiven. His second statement to you was not so much to modify your behavior as it was to make you realize what had just happened. Amazing, just amazing.”

I was speechless. I still am. I don’t know what I am going to do from here but I know I cannot turn tricks anymore. It’s not that I am afraid to return to my old profession or what he would think if I did. There is a part of me that is a prostitute. She took care of me when there was nothing else I could do. I love her for that but Jesus saw the real me and made me see her too and that is who I am going to be.